Spurs vs. Heat II.  Big 3 vs. Big 3. Duncan vs. Lebron.  Old Men vs Older Men.  Good vs. Evil.  Riverwalk vs. Implants.  Built vs. Bought (this one might actually be my favorite – check the brilliant billboard someone put up in SA).

There are literally fifty different story-lines circling these Finals, but the most common narrative is that last year’s matchup was the best in recent history, and us hoops fans are now lucky enough to see them run it back.  Personally, I’m giddy.  Yes, I was hoping I could watch Russell Westbrook wreak havoc like he had just met up with Jesse Pinkman, dunking on the entire world (see below), launching obnoxious 30 footers while KD watches helplessly, holstering his proverbial pistols and melting down social media on a nightly basis.

That was the dream (he really is the absolute greatest, anyone that says otherwise is dumb).  But this is probably better from a pure hoops (and general mental health) standpoint.  The best team in the world versus the best player in the world.

If you really want to know how this series is going to play out, all you have to do is take a look at Game 6 from last year.  As friend of the blog Bill Simmons points out (stop calling Bill, you can’t afford me), you can really just start in the last few minutes, as it was seconds away from achieving basketball perfection.  There was Tony Parker doing Tony Parker things, Lebron bricking & then nailing two humongous 3s, Popovich’s mind-boggling decision to bench Duncan for the final two defensive stands, Miami fans proving their mettle by hitting the exits before the comeback (then trying, and failing to get back in), the premature yellow tape around the court for the not-to-be champion Spurs, and then of course Jesus Shuttlesworth with one of the greatest shots you’ll ever see.  If you saw it, you know.  If not, I basically just did a half-ass job paraphrasing Simmons’ article.  But there’s a very key element that everyone seems to be forgetting here. A moment in time where Lebron stepped into his phone booth, came out and donkey punched the Spurs season into oblivion.  The key to the 2014 NBA Finals? Have a look at the :15 mark below, when Tim Duncan wakes the dragon.

Now, who I am I to judge one of the greatest basketball players to ever play, one of the richest and most powerful athletes alive, on the basis of his hairline?  Just an asshole with a  theory and a full head of hair, I suppose.  But I do know this – Mike wasn’t Mike until he embraced the bald.  He bore that cross so men like Lebron wouldn’t have to resort to measures like this (Ashley Nicole, wherever you are … #nailedit):

Up to that point in Game 6, with his season on the line, The King was playing like a peasant. But once he revealed his hairline to the world in all its receding glory?  He dropped 16 in the 4th, crashed Twitter, messed around, got a triple double.  So is the headband theory real?  I don’t know. He played with it all year and didn’t even win MVP – so you tell me.  All I know is that if I’m the Spurs, and I see LBJ come out sans-headband tonight, I’m taking my ball and I’m going home.