On Thursday, my buddy Sourk and I decided to trade emails while seeing exactly how much hoops we could watch while pretending to work.  We had so much fun, we did it again Friday.  Started out slow, as we actually had work to do,  but picked it up as the ‘Madness’ really unleashed itself on the tournament.  2012-2013 CU Hoops, RIP (damnit all).

—

Sourk (12:16pm EST)

I’m not even sure where to begin. Great upset by Harvard last night, but does anyone REALLY care? I mean, who knew anything about New Mexico besides they must be pretty good because of their seed?  For some reason, upsets aren’t the same unless it’s a Duke, UNC, Kansas, Syracuse, etc. losing.

Alright, first round of games for the day in the books and I’m already thrilled. I had Wisconsin winning, but losing to K-state (with K-state also beating Gonzaga).  The way the Zags looked last round is making me feel pretty good about picking up a few points on the field.  Could really go for Creighton to win and NC State to play up to their ability instead of down to their competition.

Slim Shady is the man, and I’m starting to think after beating Florida and Wisconsin, two hot, talented teams back-to-back, that they could be the annual 12-seed in the sweet sixteen or even elite 8. He could go from a relative nobody outside of basketball fans to a nationally known player.

Does Doug McDermott have an NBA future? The guy has been filling it up for years and can really stroke it. With all the stretch 4’s I find it hard to imagine that he can’t be a rotation player someplace.  Which reminds me, every white power forward should study Nick Collison.  First big off the bench on one of the best teams in the league. All you have to do is set good screens, hit open 15 footers, hedge pick-and-rolls and board hard as shit.  Basically, try hard. Point being, I want my wizards to draft Otto Porter and Doug McDermott.

Me (4:50pm) 

So happy Slim and the Rebels took down Wisconsin.  Bo Ryan teams are usually good, occasionally really good, and ALWAYS a complete abomination to the game of basketball.  Not only are they ugly in appearance (I see you Carrot Top), but they turn every game they play into a low-40s snooze-fest.  On top of that, their best player shoots free-throw jumpers.  Glad they’re gone.

Onto McDermott, I like where your head’s at.  The way he busts his ass on both ends of the floor, emphasizes fundamentals, and squeezes out every ounce of talent he has really reminds me of Boogie Cousins, only the exact opposite.  Seriously though, I see him as a Wally Szczerbiak type.  Probably 6-7 years as a solid role player, and you could stretch that out if he falls in the draft to a quality franchise like San Antonio.  The best scenario for your Wizards is to tank all of next year, because this draft sucks, and there’s probably 3-4 franchise players next year.

Can we take a quick second to talk about these new Adidas jerseys?  If you aren’t sure what I’m on about; Louisville, Notre Dame, Kansas, Cincinnati, Baylor and UCLA are all being punished for not repping a proper brand like Nike by having to wear these disasters. They’re like a cross between board shorts, the widely laughed at Golden State short-sleeve jerseys, and the zebra print parachute pants preferred by Bret the Hitman Hart.  They’re effing hideous.

Anyway, luckily I’m home on my couch for the Buffs game, so I can throw/shout things without fear of judement.  Roll Tad.

Me (5:57pm)

Sooo, looks like Bad CU showed up.  Seriously couldn’t draw up a worst first half.  Scott is literally throwing balls at the basket, Illinois has 6 three’s and 15 points off turnovers, and Tad decided to play ‘YMCA- everybody plays!’  We need a miracle.

Sourk (7:11pm EST)

So I just got up to the mountains and missed the entire second half of what I can only imagine was a furious comeback by K State and epic choke job.  Down 18 at half (with a cozy spot in my elite 8), I was pretty depressed.  Check the score in the car and all tied, thinking we got this. That’s right, “we”. We did not have this.

All in all, my brackets are fairly in tact and if Gonzaga drops one of its next two games, I’m back.

One thing we haven’t talked about, survivor style bracket challenge. You have to pick one team to win each day and can’t reuse them. Not quite as hard as NFL style, but still pretty tough.  After narrowly escaping with a Gonzaga win yesterday, I need Gtown to handle business today. Haven’t thought much beyond that, but I recommend trying it if you haven’t already.

Sorry to hear about your Buffs. I can’t decide if I’m happy or sad to see Dinwiddie’s stach leave the tourney so soon. It could’ve been the star of the next few weeks.

Me (8:26pm EST)

Man, that game was a freaking emotional rollercoaster.  Down 16 at half, up 5, lose by 8.  Sucks because we didn’t play to our talent, but in this Game, you win, or you die.  In other news, Georgetown is getting rolled by the always powerful Florida Golf Club (my buddy Teiffel’s joke, not mine), who I’m pretty sure is sponsored by Wal-Mart.  This tournament makes so much sense.  Enjoy the mountains, I’m switching to bourbon.

Sourk (8:37pm EST)

In good news, my Florida final 4 pick looks better. But not quite as good as the Florida Gulf Coast wife. Dear god, I might root for the upset just to keep her relevant for the rest of the weekend.

Remember when I said today could go one of two ways?? Pretty sure a 2, 4, and 5 going down (prior to the night session) qualifies…

Me (9:16pm EST)

Well, Florida Golf Club just wrapped up the shocker of the tournament so far.  Glad you pointed out the wife, as she took over the Katherine Webb memorial ‘smokeshow who steals the thunder of a big sporting event’ award (still working on the name).  Googled her, turns out she’s a super model.  Seriously.  All we were missing was that perv Brent Musberger

The second day isn’t even over yet, and I’m exhausted.  My final four is still in tact, but I’ve lost every bet I’ve made, and they haven’t even been close.  Time to reel it in and lick my wounds.  Also, since I’m writing this, and not giving you a chance to respond, one more time with feeling:  ‘LET’S GO DUKE!’

For the first day of the NCAA Tournament (one of my favorite days of the year), I wanted to see exactly how much time I could spend watching hoops and pretending to be productive at work.  This morphed into trading emails with my buddy Sourk, who coincidentally was doing the same thing.  Games kicked off at 12:15pm EST.

—

Me (11:36am EST)

Yes, the title to this was me uncomfortably forcing a Game of Thrones reference on you.  But let’s be honest, the Madness is, in fact, coming.  Here’s our gimmick for the day: we’re going to trade emails/thoughts/attempted witticisms on all the hoops we can watch while pretending to work.  Not too far from my normal day, except this time I’m actually watching sports instead of trolling the internet for good reads.  Let me also preface by saying that I am currently enjoying some sort of rare African flu that is sweeping the city (tangent: NYC really is like one giant petri dish.  I relive the movie ‘Outbreak’ every 4 weeks.), am on a potentially lethal combination of cold medicine, and am attempting to counter that with unholy amounts of caffeine. My mind may wander, so bear with me.

So, back to hoops.  Can we just agree off the bat, greatest sporting event of the year?  Good.  It’s seriously like a Gambler’s Christmas.  Here’s a few games I’m interested in today:

(14) Davidson vs. (3) Marquette

Went out on a limb and took Davidson here.  Why?  Because I watched Steph Curry drop 54 on the Knicks, fell in love with his wet jumper all over again, then really wanted to pick an upset when I had all the top seeds advancing.  And last year, the Big East sort of crapped the bed, so I’m hoping Marquette continues the trend.  Also, I’ve never seen Marquette play.  Chances of winning: 1.5%

(11) Belmont vs. (6) Arizona

I picked Belmont here for a few reasons.  1. As a CU alum, I now whole-heartedly hate the Wildcats and their fat slob of a coach.  They completely jobbed us out of the W in AZ when we nailed a clearly-legal game winner, we bent them over in Boulder, and I’m not really counting the L in the PAC-12 tourney.  2.  Again, I’ve never seen Belmont play, but I needed some upsets, and I was looking for teams I hated and/or thought could lose (see point 1).  3.  Mark Titus told me to, and he’s hilarious.  Chances of winning: 12%

(8) Colorado State vs. (9) Missouri

Because it sucks, to be, a CSU Ram.  That’s why.  Chances of winning: 99.9%

*All percentages approximate

Sourk (11:54am EST)

Fuck Duke. Seriously. I know they’re 18-2 or something with Ryan Kelly (who seemlessly took the throne of hideous white guy from Kyle Singler and John Shier), but they got beat by MD twice recently. I don’t chalk those up as rude awakening games, I chalk it up as team that can guard Plumlee without a double team, chase around Seth Curry and penetrate offensively can beat them. You know who does that?? Michigan State. Doesn’t hurt they have some sort of Jedi tournament master roaming the sidelines for them.

I think you need to add Miami and Florida to your list…or downgrade your 100% accordingly.  I can totally see the long guards of Syracuse giving the little white guy on Indiana trouble and the zone limiting my favorite player of all time (Oladipo), then losing to Miami in the Elite 8.  Florida is fortunate enough to be in the same bracket as the two teams that are always awesome in the regular season and lose in the tournament, KU and Gtown.  I think it’s a bad sign when you can invision a team getting beat in the second round OR winning it all.

Finally, don’t you think it’s awesome how everyone comes out of the woodwork after watching a one hour ESPN special and pretends they’re huge NCAA fans??  I’ve had countless people in my office come up to me and say “too bad for St. Louis, I would’ve had them going to the final four if they weren’t in the group of death. Rick Majerus really knows what he’s doing.”  Listen assholes, 1. Rick Majerus is dead (RIP), 2. you know NOTHING about St. Louis aside from what Jay Bilas just told you, 3. I bet you don’t watch the World Cup and even know what the Group of Death refers to.  Where were you when I was watching the Maui Invitational months ago??

Lastly, when did Louisville become THE team? Every bracket I see has them winning it all. I get it, they’re awesome. But as little as two weeks ago, I was absolutely convinced Indiana would win it all. A month ago, I knew it would be Duke. I’ve never seen anything like this….there are a legit 8 teams that have been the best team in the country at some point this year.

Me (1:05pm EST)

In case there is anybody reading this, and that person isn’t familiar with our man Ryan Kelly.

Ryan Kelly may break a few mirrors, but Bilas LOOOOVES his length. So there’s that.  I still like Duke in the title game though.  That said, lets go ahead and get our picks on the table:

Final Four- Duke, Ohio St, Indiana, Kansas.

Champ- Duke over Indiana

That last part absolutely tormented me, as like you- Oladipo gives me a total chub.  Whenever he pulls some Spider-Man shit, I think of Bubbles from The Wire and yell ‘OLADIPO, WHERE’S MY PEOPLE!’  I just have 0 confidence in Tom Crean. Between his sophomoric post-game antics and subbing players like he’s college drunk, the man is a total cartoon.

and why would you play your All-Americans in a tight game?

just lost to OSU, CUT DOWN THE NETS!!

And just for fun… YOU RUINED OUR PROGRAM!!!

Me (1:07pm EST)

Just got pulled into back-to-back meetings, dammit.  iPhone it is.  Too close for missiles, switching to guns.

Sourk (1:49 EST)

I have so many brackets my final fours are all over the place…which brings me to another point: strategy in filling out a bracket is so key. You need to actually look at the point format and number of people in the pool.  For instance, I have a fairly conservative bracket with Louisville, Ohio State, Gtown and Indiana (Louisville over Indiana in the finals).  This bracket has about 25 people in it and doubles in points as you move forward (1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32). Pretty much, you HAVE to get the champion correct. BUT, I have more upsets early because as long as your sweet 16 and elite 8 stay in tact, missing out on a point in round one doesn’t hurt.

My other bracket has Louisville, Ohio State, Miami and Florida with Louisville over Florida in the finals.  I’m a little more conservative early do to it being scored a little more evenly than above, but there are 90 people in it.  There is no worse feeling that looking at the standings on the first Monday of the tournament and realizing that you mathematically are out of it because 3 idiots above you have the EXACT SAME picks moving forward and they luckily got that 13 over 4 upset that you couldn’t pull the trigger on.  Going with a final 4 like this let’s you always say “as long as Florida and Miami pull off upsets I can still win this thing!”

This is why there are about 30 crumpled up sheets of paper all around my office.

Me (3:20pm EST)

You should be super excited for Louisville completely messing their britches the first time they get into a close game.  Just prepare to watch Russ Smith dribble out the shot clock, then launch a contested fade-away that doesn’t draw iron, good times.  If I sound like a jilted loved, it’s probably because I lost several bets on them.Anyway, got an hour until my next meeting, thank god for the CBS Boss Button!  Also, I have Pitt wrapped up in both bets I made today, and they’re currently losing to Wichita State 33-26.  Wichita State shouldn’t even be in the tournament.  I seriously hate everything.

Sourk (3:45pm EST)

Wichita State is among the teams you only know exist BECAUSE of the tournament. Also included: Niagra, Western Kentucky, Valparaiso, IUPUI…I think without March Madness, admissions at those places would be cut in half. Easy.

Is there a better feeling than the sigh of relief for getting a game right? I don’t care if it’s a 3 over a 14, I give myself a mental check mark or ‘atta boy’ everytime. Conversely, THINKING you got a game right, only to check your bracket and realize you picked the other way is catostrophic. I never get over it…until the feeling above kicks in again.

Sourk (4:48pm EST)

Thought I’d skip my turn because you’re in meetings…Memphis is up a handful and about to shoot a boat load of foul shots over the next minute plus.

How is it possible to recruit some of the best athletes in the country that can NEVER make foul shots?!??!

Me (5:00pm EST)

Good question Aguato.

But yes, pretty obnoxious.  Makes me think of my mom who thinks NBA players should be fined for missing free throws.  She seems to forget that her son is a career 60-70% free throw shooter, not great.

In other news, F*ck Pitt.  Really, F*ck Pitt, and my buddies that convinced me they were a lock.  Instead of watching them burn my money, want to know what I got to do for the last hour?  Listen to a girl tell me all about how to advertise on Facebook.  Apparently the platform is on the verge of some really exciting things.  The new platform is going to CHANGE the GAME.  Needed that like I need a hole in the head.How ’bout those Davidson Wildcats, huh?  Looking frisky… since it’s 5:00pm here, I’m putting it on cruise control… NO MORE WORK.

Sourk (5:30pm EST)

The funny thing about Pitt (and really the tournament in general) is I knew nothing about them, but after a few articles, I was almost certain they were going to knock of Gonzaga. Then, BOOM, gone.

The more I’ve read, the more I’ve noticed that you really need to be a certain type of team to make an upset…create a hectic environment that becomes real dangerous when you throw in some stress and the possibility of actually having your season end, and be able to make it rain from 3.  Davidson hits the 3’s, so they still have a chance. If they go cold because they’re thinking ahead, Marquette will squeak this out.  Watching this game has me convinced that the Brad Stevens’ will make it to another sweet 16 and possibly further…dude’s a beast. Rember this ??

He just walks off like a boss.

Me (5:34pm EST)

Ha, yes. That was amazing.  Can we acknowledge the Davidson crunch-time lineup real quick?  One player short of a white-wash.  Amazing.

Sourk (5:51pm EST) – Davidson just choked away a major upset

They REALLY didn’t do anything wrong either. They made 2 each time at the line, contested the 3’s (that all happened to be pure) and even the turnover should’ve been a foul before it got to that…Marquette was pushing people around a half-second too late.

Upsetting is that it’s most likely the game of the tournament and it’s over already, and I have my office tv/computer on mute. I was pretending Gus Johnson was having an orgasm the entire time.

Me (6:51pm EST)

I just stayed late at work for the Gonzaga game, just in case I was witnessing history.  Instead, I saw two Canucks put away the game for a 1-seed.  Canucks.  Not sure how I feel aboot that (see what I did there?)Headed home now, still hoping for a Belmont upset and a CSU blood bath.  Despite my losing 3 of the first 8, the day is not lost Kyle.

All my friends hate Carmelo Anthony.  Hell, I’d say roughly 90% of Denver hates him.  As a man who hates lots of things for extremely trivial reasons, I get it.  But as he and the 2009 Nuggets, err Knicks, return to Denver for the first time since he left, I just can’t bring myself to stay mad at that asshole. Here’s why:

My first sports memory also happens to be the only time I’ve ever sat court-side.   Somehow my dad swung these incredible tickets, and we saw Hakeem the Dream and Ralph Sampson play the Nuggets at Big Mac, with one of the refs singling me out to, as I recall, shoot the half court shot at halftime.  As it turns out, that ‘half court shot’ was really just me holding the ball during a timeout.  Either way, game changer!  I’ve been living and dying (mostly dying) with the Nuggets ever since.

Born in 1984, I can’t really recall the fun and gun Doug Moe years, so my Nuggets fandom essentially falls into two eras: Pre Melo & Post Melo.  Zero points for creativity, but you get the idea.

Pre-Melo

1990-2003 for our purposes, which doubled as my formative years where I started playing basketball and fell in love with the game.  My beloved Nuggets averaged a blistering 27.9 wins/season, highlighted by Mutombo & friends giving a collective finger-wag to Seattle in the playoffs (Exhibit A on the George Karl post-season nightmare reel), lowlighted by seasons with 11, 14, an 17 wins respectively.  That’s total wins, for the season.  Not a single streak.  Also tucked into this era were some of the highest comedy personnel decisions in the history of the league.  Vince Carter, Paul Pierce, Dirk Nowitzki, Raef Lafrentz? Raef Lafrentz, obviously.  Or how about the immortal Nikoloz Tskitishvili?  Don’t think he ever started a game, and he might even be dead.  If it wasn’t for Robert Pack saving my childhood by tea-bagging dudes on a nightly basis, I may have done like the rest of Denver and pretended to be from LA so I could supports the Lakers.  Seriously, Pack was an animal.  In case you don’t remember:

Post Melo

Then, in 2002, when the NBA rigged the lottery for LeBron to end up in Cleveland, and Detroit lucked into the 2nd pick and the chance at a dynasty by adding the wunderkind from Syracuse, it seemed we’d again be left with the ‘lengthy’ European with loads of potential. F**k. But fate intervened.  And by that, I mean Joe Dumars showed up to the draft drunk, took Darko, and let Melo fall to us.  Just like that, a 17-win team turns into a 43-win team and makes the playoffs for the first time in nine years.  Just like that, the entire culture of our team changed.  We’ve now been to the elimination rounds going on ten years straight, including a trip to the Western Conference Finals where we came up two inbound passes short of a trip to the promised land (the Lakers really are the antichrist).

Now, many of Melo’s detractors will point out that in six of the seven years we went to the playoffs, we lost in the first round.  Fair point.  But consider the paradigm shift that took place there.  We went from a fan-base whose annual highlight was the NBA lottery to a group that consistently contends for division championships.  I’m not saying we didn’t underachieve when we got there, but at least we were there.

This brings us to the crux of the Melo hate, and that’s him forcing his way to New York.  Passionate sports fans are inherently irrational people.  We attach ourselves to our teams, either by geography, birth, or both, and expect our athletes to do the same.  Our happiness is literally affected, albeit for short periods of time, by the successes and failures of our teams (looking at you Rahim Moore.  70 yards.  30 seconds.  What. The. Hell?).  The personal lives, histories, and dreams of these athletes take an immediate backseat.  Bill Simmons talks about this often, but we desperately want them to care like we care.  I wanted Melo to want to be a Nugget for life, to love the team and the town as much as I do.  And yes, I was livid when he demanded the trade.  Never mind that he’s from the east coast, loves New York, and has a fame-whoring celebrity wife that bathes and dresses him that needed to be in a big market.  He wanted to play near his home in a place that he could triple his income (endorsements), in the basketball mecca of the world no less.  I mean, eff him for leaving and all, but I certainly get it.

The second part of the trade that pisses folks off is the new trend of players holding their teams hostage, forcing their way to wherever they please.  Let’s consider the most sterling example of this, LeBron James.  Born and raised in Ohio, he played just-the-tip with them all the way into the offseason, giving them every indication of re-signing, than went on national TV and essentially waved both middle fingers at them.  We were all witnesses.  We’re going to wager our entire future on you, trust you, turn on the TV, watch the King re-sign, take us to a championship, aaaaand….. GONE.  Once you put it in perspective, Melo’s not even half the asshole LeBron is.  He made it clear from the start that he was leaving, giving us time to swindle the Knicks out of every good player on their roster.  Our team is now 100-times more fun to watch, and debatably better off.  We’re most likely a 4/5 seed this year, where we’ll either roll Memphis or struggle with the Clippers.  After that, who knows?  Maybe we Bernie ourselves all the way to the conference finals.  Do I think we can beat OKC, or even the Spurs? Probably not, but I’ll be glad I’m watching that, and not hoping for a chance to draft Nerlens Noel.

Ben Hochman, the Nuggets beat writer for the Denver Post, has been making the case that Denver should someday retire Melo’s jersey, even getting Karl to weigh in:

Just more than a month removed from the Ravens pilfering the Super Bowl from the Broncos…errr… I mean, the 49ers, I’ve finally washed myself clean of the stink that was my 2012-2013 football gambling debacle.  Debacle actually doesn’t do it justice- massacre is more fitting.  Made a nice little comeback in the playoffs, then Flacco stole it from me, just like he stole $120 million from the Ravens, but I digress.  I needed some time to regroup.  The point is, I’M BACK! Basketball is my favorite sport, and it’s only that much more fun with money on the line.  Plus, the NBA and college hoops are as entertaining as ever right now. My issue is that I have a hard time separating who should win from who I want to win– the old head/heart conundrum.  Same reason I’ll never draft Phillis Rivers or that man-doll Tom Brady and his stupid boots to a fantasy squad- fuck ’em, that’s why.  My buddy David, however, has a much more defensible system – full of all kinds of metrics and convoluted power rankings that he drops for college hoops (check him on Twitter @WiseGuyBet).  Here’s his Saturday picks:

• Syracuse (+2) over Georgetown (plus the over at 121)
• Florida (-6) over Kentucky (big admission from him, a Kentucky true blood)
• Minnesota (-2.5) over Purdue (typical B1G Ten snoozefest)
• UConn (-3.5) over Providence (wait, providence has a basketball team?)
• Kansas State (+5.5) over Oklahoma St (a big middle finger to OSU for crapping the bed at Iowa State on Tuesday night and ruining a 3-teamer for me)
• UCLA (+2) over Washington

UCLA and Syracuse have essentially flung their own feces at me when I’ve taken them this year, so I’ll stay away… but besides that, I like these.  As usual, I recommend throwing these, and any other games, into all sorts of ridiculous parlays… JUST LOOK AT THOSE PAYOUTS!! Then, just for fun, let’s throw in the Nuggets -15.5 over the TWolves tonight, if for nothing else than to have a reason to watch Pierre McGee do Pierre McGee things- like this and this.

Finally, take Indiana over Michigan tomorrow, no matter what the spread is.  In case you missed it, they cut down the nets after a loss.  I’m not making that up.  But they have that cyborg Victor Oladipo, and Michigan sucks.  More on that tomorrow.